Camping is a time-honored family event because it can be geared toward nearly any age group. And it’s great for adults, too.
But those late evenings sitting around the campfire or even the long drive toward the campground can become a challenge to the patience of adults in charge of youngsters and to youngsters, and even to dedicated outdoors persons.
Even a group of adults who are packed into a vehicle can grow a bit restless after long hours of travel or after several minutes of silently staring into a campfire. One answer to those minutes when the miles stretch too long or where the dark trees loom at the edge of the firelight is to tell camp jokes.
Other options include telling stories (easy on the ghost stories if you don’t want to be waked up with nightmares), singing songs, or playing word games.
So, with no further ado, here’s a list of clean, fun camping jokes and games that can be enjoyed by almost anyone. Take a written list, or memorize a few to share on those long stretches of hiking. Humor makes nearly everything go better.
Games for the Road and for Camp
Here are a few games you can try:
1. A Variation on the Alphabet Game
Look for letters of the alphabet on signs or license plates or both. When a player sees the next letter, he or she not only announces the letter, but spells an animal that starts with that letter. To make it more exciting, require that the animal be one that can be found at your destination.
2. Mr. M’s Mystery Cat
The starter verse is:
Mr. M. had a Mystery Cat. He was amiable and wore an alabaster hat. The next player needs to come up with descriptive words that start with a B to fill in the blanks. Keep playing until all alphabet letters are exhausted.
3. Cross Questions and Crooked Answers
This is a very old game, originating from the Regency era, when parlor games were a popular way to pass the evening. Play begins with the driver of the car, and proceeds to the right, then to the next row of seats, in a zigzag fashion.
Note: This only works up to a family-sized van. Buses are too big for questions and answers to be heard.
The driver asks the person in the passenger seat one of those rhetorical, silly questions such as “Why is the sky blue?” The passenger might reply “Because it is full of water.” Please note that the answers don’t have to make sense or have logic.
The passenger then turns to the person directly behind him in the back seat and asks a question, and receives an answer. Play continues around the vehicle until it comes back to the driver, who must then tell the question he or she was asked, and the answer that was given to his or her question.
So, if the driver was asked, “Where can we picnic?” The answer that the driver was given was “Because it is full of water.” This part of the game then goes around the vehicle in the original order with each person announcing the question they were asked and the answer they were given. The results should be very silly and good for laughs.
4. Easy Make-it-Up-as-You-Go Camp Songs
Ditch the cell phones, tablets, and other devices and create your own “Camp-Tube” songs. Begin with a well-known, easy-to-sing song, and make up verses until no one can think of another variation.
Here’s a song starter sample.
This is the way we go to camp (Tune: Here we go ‘round the Mulberry Bush)
This is the way we go to camp, go to camp, go to camp. This the way we go to camp, early in the morning.
We hop into grandpa’s ford…etc.
We do the bunny hop … etc.
We ride a buffalo … etc.
Keep going, and the sillier the ways to get to camp the better.
88 Clean, Fun Camping Jokes
Now we’ll take a look at our list of the best camp jokes.
1. What do campers say when they find a spider in their tent?
a) The manly hunter said, “Where’s my gun?”
b) The New-Age girlfriend said, “Awww….climb on this bark and I’ll take you outside.”
c) The black bombshell, with the hour-glass, who was spinning a web in the other corner of the tent, said, “Hey, there cutie. Let me take you for dinner.”
2. A man and his girlfriend were camping and they found a spider in their tent.
The girlfriend told the man to take the spider out. So he did. Much later he came back. “Where were you?” the girlfriend asked. The man replied, “I took the spider out. He’s a really cool guy. Wants to start a solar electric coop.”
3. What do spiders like to do for outdoor recreation?
4. Where is the favorite campground for sharks?
5. What do mountain lions call campers in sleeping bags?
6. What do panthers call campers in sleeping bags?
7. What did the Kodiaks shout when they saw the tourist family in sleeping bags?
8. Camp counselors all wear sunglasses. Anyone know why?
To block the glare off the campers’ scintillating wit.
9. What did the parent say to the kid when he/she kept dropping marshmallows in the fire?
Stick with it.
10. Why were the campers so tired?
The camping trip was in-tents.
11. Did you hear about the kidnapping in the woods?
It’s ok. He woke up.
12. A hunter asked the game warden if it was illegal to hunt on Sunday.
The warden replied, “As nearly as I can tell from your aim, it should be illegal for you to hunt on any day of the week.”
13. What kind of frog can jump higher than a tent?
Any kind. Tents don’t jump.
14. Two hunters separate to increase their chances at finding game.
The first hunter asks the second, “What if we get lost?” The second replies, “Fire up in the air every hour on the hour. That will help others to know where to look for you.” So the first hunter got lost, and he did what the second hunter recommended.
But the second hunter couldn’t find him. The second hunter got help from the forest rangers, and the first hunter was finally found the next day. The second hunter asked the first, “Why didn’t you do what I told you?” The first hunter replied, “I did! Until I ran out of arrows.”
15. What’s another name for a sleeping bag?
A nap sack.
16. What is the color of the wind?
17. Why does Humpty Dumpty want to camp in spring?
Because in autumn he might have a great fall.
18. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the lake’s bottom.
19. What do you call a camper who doesn’t have a nose or a body?
20. How do you make a one-armed man fall out of a tree?
21. A boy walked down the road with a monkey on his shoulder.
A policeman saw him and said, “Now, I think you should take that monkey to the zoo.”
The next day, the boy was walking down the same road, and he had the monkey on his shoulder again. The policeman said, “I thought I told you to take that monkey to the zoo.”
“I did,” the boy replied. “Today I’m taking him to the movies.”
22. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
23. How do trees access the Internet?
They log in.
24. What did the cold adventurer learn when he lit a fire in his boat?
You can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
25. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
26. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree, and act like a nut.
27. A mother and daughter went camping.
When night came, they struggled with their tent, but finally got it set up. Later, the daughter woke up and nudged her mother. “Mom, Mom…what do you see?
The mother answered sleepily, “I see a lovely canopy of stars. It looks as if Pluto is retrograde. By the position of the stars, it must be shortly after 3 AM. Those little clouds moving in show that we might have rain tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
The daughter sighed. “The raindrops on my face indicate me that our tent has been stolen.”
28. Why is the river rich?
It has two banks.
29. Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
30. What is a tree’s favorite drink?
31. What is green and fuzzy, and would squash you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table.
32. How do you avoid being swallowed by a river when kayaking?
Stay away from the mouth.
33. A boy and his father were having dinner by the campfire.
The boy asks his father, “Are bugs good to eat? His father replies, “Yuck! Don’t talk to me about things like that while I’m eating.” After they have finished eating, the father asks, “Now what was it you wanted to ask me?” The boy pauses a moment before answering. “It’s nothing. There was a bug in your soup, but it’s gone now.”
34. What kind of shoe can stop drains?
35. A boy scout ran through Glacier Park because he was being chased by a bear.
He ducked into the ranger station for safety. But once he arrived, he was arrested. It seems it’s illegal to run through Glacier Park with a bear behind.
36. What do you call a boy scout who (these can go on forever, especially if you make up your own):
- Camped on the beach? Sandy
- Fell in the campfire? Frank
- Has a car on his head? Jack
- Was struck by lightning? Rod
- Is locked in a bank vault? Rich
- Coming home from camp? Dusty
37. Where and when can you find the most teens camping?
In front of Best Buy on the day of a new release of Call of Duty.
38. How can you tell if a bear is under your sleeping bag?
Your warm ground cloth is snoring.
39. Where does a camper keep his money?
In the river bank.
40. How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
41. What do you call a bunch of grizzlies sharing jokes?
A BEARel of laughs.
42. What chair likes to go to wild concerts?
A rocking chair.
43. What is the name of a controversial camping book?
44. How is winning an online argument with a grammar rule like camping in an online shooter?
If someone does it to you, they are being mean. If you do it to someone else, it’s a legitimate strategy.
45. What is a tornado’s favorite game?
46. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
47. How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea saw.
48. How can you tell if a tree is dogwood?
By its bark.
49. Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
Because he used a honeycomb.
50. Where’s a rabbit’s favorite place to eat?
51. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Chickens weren’t invented yet.
52. What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and talking parrot?
A walkie talkie.
53. What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where is popcorn?
54. Which runs faster, cold or hot?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
55. What has a bed, but you can’t sleep in it?
56. What’s a rock’s favorite cereal?
57. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
Nothing. Oceans don’t talk, they just wave.
58. Why do humans go camping?
It’s nature’s way of feeding mosquitos.
59. What did the llama say to the camel when he was invited to go camping?
60. What kind of car does a cow drive?
61. What do you call a cow with no legs?
62. You can call a potato baked in the coals for one hour delicious. What do you call one that’s baked for three hours?
A hockey puck.
63. What are the best washing instructions for camping apparel?
Beat on rock in stream.
64. Did you hear about the pollinators that romanced each other while camping?
It was intended to be.
65. A man told the doctor that he was so stressed he felt like two gazebos.
The doctor replied that he was two tents.
66. What do you call an emergency shelter made from cereal boxes?
A snap, crackle and pop-up tent.
67. A lawyer, a surgeon and a janitor go camping.
They meet a forest genie who says, “I will give you what you want most in life if you’ll do someone else’s job for a day.”
The lawyer volunteers to become a kindergarten teacher. “How hard can it be to read to kids?” he says. After two hours of screaming children, he gives up.
The surgeon says, “I’ll be a waiter. All they do is walk around and write stuff on tickets and carry back delicious food.” After three hours of non-stop orders and complaining customers, he declares, “I quit.”
The janitor says, “I’ll be an artist for a day.” He’s transported to a well-advertised, state-of-the-art studio. He uses random items from the supplies, creates a picture that sells for 100 million dollars.
His companions and the genie are amazed. “How did you do that?” they ask.
The janitor smiles modestly. “I have a master’s degree in art.”
68. As a farewell celebration, an interior design class went camping.
It was pretty in tents.
69. Two campers have been in the woods for more than a week.
All their supplies are gone, except for some olive oil and some matches. They decide to make a campfire, and try to forage. When the first camper returns to the fire, and notices that the second camper is frying up twigs in their pan. The firsts camper snatches the pan out of the second campers’ hands. “You can do that!” she cries out. “That’s my mother’s best no-stick pan!”
70. Murphy’s Laws of Camping:
- Water proofing isn’t.
- Level ground disappears when it’s time to set up the tent.
- Ambient temperature increases in proportion to clothing brought.
- The number of tent stakes is N-1, when N is the number of stakes needed for the tent.
- All freeze-dried foods taste the same.
- Small, necessary items are lost on day one.
- Something essential will be left at home.
- One-man tents need two men to put them up.
- Backpacks weigh more on the way out than on the way in – even if they’re emptier.
71. What’s the time when people start throwing bread at you?
Time to duck.
72. Why the camper can’t find his way out of the farmer’s cornfield?
Because he’s deeply a-maized.
73. What YouTube channel do fishermen watch?
The reel world.
74. What’s a wild dog you can’t find called?
A Where Wolf.
75. Who is Burt Bee’s roommate?
76. What is brown and sticky?
A limb off a hickory tree
77. Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves?
A panda bear.
78. Why did the tiger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
79. What did one eye say to the other eye?
Don’t look now, but something between us smells.
80. What did one path say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the crossroads.
81. What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?
82. Why did the cow have two legs shorter than the other?
So it could walk around the mountain.
83. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
84. What do you call a fly with no wings?
85. Knock! Knock!
- Who’s there?
- Hey a lady.
- Hey a lady who?
- When did you learn to yodel?
For some extra fun, finish this one off with demonstrations and practice at yodeling.
Here’s a YouTube video to help you learn how to yodel:
Or just play around with it. It isn’t hard, and the sound carries well in the hills if you get lost from the rest of your group.
86. I know something that’s gonna make you want to yodel.
What is it?
I don’t know, but it’s yellow and green, has a lot of legs and it’s climbing on your shoulder.
87. Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
88. Joke #88 is a good one to signal time to climb into your sleeping bags.
The last one is a great good-night joke for parents to tell as they put their children to bed, or a silly one for your nearest and dearest, whoever that might be.
- Knock! Knock!
- Who’s there?
- Nighty who?
- Nighty night! Turn out the light! Take my love with you until the morning is bright!
Wrapping It All Up
There you have it. 100 humorous camping jokes, stories, and word games to enjoy on your next outdoor trip. Remember to layer your clothing, take plenty of drinking water and/or water purifiers, and lots of small munchies like nut or cereal bars.
A hungry camper is a whiney camper. May you only see the stars above your sleeping bag because you planned it so, and may your citronella candles keep the mosquitoes at bay. Happy camping!